Good heavens, someone recorded a samba/jazz-flavoured easy-listening version of Roxy Music's More Than This. Which is currently playing in this café...
The sheer volume of easy-listening yuppie-jazz that's manufactured just for cafés in London (and presumably in major US cities, and probably the CBD of Melbourne as well) is frightening. It's something that spending time in cafés in Fitzroy/North Fitzroy can't prepare you for.
Mind you, from time to time, they switch over to Virgin Radio (think a British Nova FM, with slightly more alternativeish commercial music and obnoxiously loud ads).